Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Trapped


Caught in the web of a devourer
some raw quivering meat
on a hook stronger than steel
dangling, doomed, spinning
in the circle of life,
is this little June bug
hanging on spiderwebs
from the green walls
dirty cracked eaves
and dead orange shrubs
of her broken down
broken in, fading-fast house
in front of her
wailing wall of glass
picture window
looking in
both of us waiting for fate
to bring the gun

Wondering, if I could still kick
over my own head
I did just that for the first time
in years, flew like a dragon
breaking web and almost
my own back
almost...
But this June bug was free
to the winds
one who cannot eat
one who will not rest
driven only by the urge to mate
before tonight’s big sleep--
the super-sexy
deathly-death
hits it forever

I too
can only hope
for a happy ending

because she's staring lasers
at me, right through the glass
the conflux of every passion
exploding from her eyes
through the picture window
at some meat
on a hook

the anticipation
is killing me

32 comments:

MyUtopia said...

Your poem today was very visual, though I have to admit I was a little lost about the content.

eric313 said...

I think it's fixed now. Thanks for being cool about it. It's like entering the darn thing is the trigger for the real process to click in. You get so sick of it, you just throw it out there. Then you might figure it out. And I am glad to get it right--even if the end result is a bad poem! Thanks.

Talk to you soon

MyUtopia said...

I totally know what you mean! Tigers are tied at the top the 9th!

eric313 said...

Sweet! Go Tigers.

I get a lot of people's opinions and I do appreciate all of them, even if I can be snarky sometimes. Thanks

benjibopper said...

could be worse, you could be a salmon.

eric313 said...

I have a poem for that too
thanks benjibopper
---

singleton said...

"I did that for the first time
in years, flew like a dragon
breaking web and almost
my own back
almost"....
whatever it is, wherever you're going,
fly like a dragon and break the web...

eric313 said...

...and like that I will
myself toward the sun,
the tattered webs are
my personal banner,
streaming behind me
with the clouds

set the controls for wherever

thanks, Singleton
poetry flows
like blue wine

Bardouble29 said...

I want you to know I enjoy wrapping my thoughts around the words you write...

I used to make words move, and flow...now it is hard to have them come alive...you make me want to write again!

eric313 said...

Barb
It is so hard to write every day, but it is so worth it. You will reap the rewards and fly, just a poem a day, one little one. That is the only real flying I've ever done is in my writing!

You are getting there again, it takes time and some typing. And, you have the benfit of some great friends who are all just a click away. We all have inspiration everywhere. You'll find your pace if you let sentances go and don't erase them, just get to the end of each little story your poems tell.

Thanks for your compliment and I'll see you around, I'm sure.

Princess Pointful said...

The first few lines are chilling, but I like some of the playfulness interspersed in it.
I also loved the line about happy endings and how it was broken up.

eric313 said...

Princess
Cool. I was going for the mix that you described and I'm glad that is there when you read it. Of course, it might not bother the tarantula crowd very much.

And the happy endings part is quite workable on some levels.
And the spacing and line length are important. Work the rhythm and the poem will be that much more fun for people to read and for it to be read out loud.

Thanks for your comments

Kaufman said...

That's a pretty bloody decent photo (2nd one), if I don't say so myself.

PS There is no such thing as a bad poem; the bad elements are born by its depth of interpretation.

Susan Miller said...

Fantastic, Eric. Loved the ending.

captain corky said...

You write some seriously good stuff.

Thanks for the link, I'm going to add you ASAP.

Blancodeviosa said...

Just as I suspected. You are a big lump of meat

Ultra Toast Mosha God said...

Kaufman hits the wisdom Bullseye!

eric313 said...

Kaufman and Ultra Toast:
Interpretation usually carries me through--lately it has. This one is way better now. I really did re-write half of the damn thing completely. But only when I knew needed to be a more complete story.

I'll see you both around.

Susan Miller:
That ending sealed it for me, too. Glad this one is a distant memory, though. That damn green house. Thank you.

Captain Corky:
Thanks and no prob with the link. It's been a trip to see how this all is working out. Thanks for the shout and see you around.

Blancodeviosa:
More like a slim jim, actually.
But lump of meat or no, the sublime she-death has no hooks in this heart, only the scars of removing them one at a time.
Now go write!

eric313 said...

And the photos are cool. They just add so much.

Trevor Record said...

Ah, an insect that only lives one day trying to escape death. Heh, you know I can't say that I wouldn't myself. I don't feel there is much difference between one day or one century when it comes right down to it.

Camplin said...

Good word smithing. Poems don't usually free flow without a little editing at the end. Rethinking, rewording, and revisiting: you can make a bad poem come out good. I see no bad, go smithing!

Crashdummie said...

"the anticipation
is killing me "


Not knowing is frustrating. But then again, not knowing also leaves room for hope...

... bittersweet, I know, but that's life for you. What can I say, I'm a hopless romantic when it comes to life. But ssssh, dont spread it around ok?

miller580 said...

the imagery here was great. I also thought the juxtaposition of hope and despair really brings it home!

eric313 said...

Trevor
It is ironic how time is a huge force and commodity, but at the same time, it can be meaningless in the face of a given moment. The do or die june bug couldn't have more on it's plate, no doubt. The smallest time scales still weigh in pretty huge.
Thanks for the comment.

Camplin
Thank you for dropping by and for the shout of encouragement. I'll have to check out your blog soon. Come back by and sit a spell anytime.

Crashie
You are in good company with the people who like the ending and what it means, both physically and emotionally. Thank for the encouragment. Your a regular here, and you're welcome anytime.
See you around.

Miller
Thanks for dropping by, too. It's nice to have input from everyone, since I'm out here in the field trying to make a go of this just like you and so many others. Now I just need to relax and write!
Swing, batter!


Glad everyone's here or just reading quietly, too.
I try to post every day, I know I'm late, and things are needing to be worked out else where, but I'm on it!

Blancodeviosa said...

i'm writing, i'm writing. ok i lie, but i will.. eventually

benjibopper said...

bring on the salmon poem!

MyUtopia said...

Thank you for your supportive comments.

eric313 said...

Thank you:

Blancodeviosa
you'll find the way. You will. The words call to you.

Benjibopper
I will post that up soon. Maybe very soon.

Myutopia
No problem at all. Its quite easy to be supportive of someone who wants to help try to prevent the sexual abuse of children, and does so with vitality, on top of your topical and intelllectual discusions, and of course all of your book reviews.

Welcome anytime, as you know.

Crashdummie said...

yey, I'm a regular...

But then again you might just have jinxed it - I think I might suffer from a splash of comittmentphobia.

eric313 said...

I jinx things all the damn time! It's like being my own worst enemy. Oh well, things are so much just not meant to be.

But you can come here and talk all you want. I'm happy that I have people who want to read me!

take care and see you at the Crash Site, friend.

skinnylittleblonde said...

OK Eric!
Your ability to make a few words paint a thousand stories is intense!

I read this once and the character I played evolved with each sentence so I read it again & Bam! again I found myself geting sucked right into the heart and soul of each word.

'Wondering, if I could still kickover my own headI did just that for the first timein years, flew like a dragonbreaking web'
It's amazing the things we can do... when we have to.

eric313 said...

It certainly was life and death for the little guy. Even if it was only a little time left. Nice little stretch kick and he was winging off.

Your poems are just as visual and the metaphors are awesome. The stretch kick you were saying was this good. Many of my friends are blessed with unique voices, friends new and not so new. I love all of their work and tell them so whenever I can. Thanks for reading through this bit of the collection like you have, Skinny. It's always appreciated when I meet people who are supportive.