Sunday, June 24, 2007

The Way to Eden

Creation spills Her radiance
across electric cosmos--
the blues, the green,
yellow, red and pink;
hushed words of a laureate spoken
to the evening tides
to the ocean mother
to golden moon skinny dipping
to the nightbird's call
to the breeze flying true
over white sands, windy laughter
singing down the spiral
of a golden conch shell
beckoning with mystery,
her breath over ear lobes
delicate; listening in tongues
closer still

creation speaks
to its children:
listen...
it will tell you of life
in the first days,
when lust was new
listen...
the way to Eden opens
at midnight
the sword fallen to love
listen...
the electric radiance
is so near, our bodies will burn
together in the just-let-be-light
listen...

She calls.

32 comments:

eric313 said...

Hope you all liked this. If you did, or if you didn't, go to A Poets Corner, and you will find something you like, I promise.

Thank you all for reading.

A poet's Corner
http://cornerforpoets.blogspot.com/

singleton said...

you absolutely rock!

eric313 said...

How could I have put that any more diplomatically than you? Thanks.

I hope that means this is a good poem! But I do rock the mic with my Les Paul jammin' in the houses of the holy.

Let the Music be your Master.

Marissa said...

You are an amazing poet! I can't wait to read more from you. Thank you so much for stopping by my blog. I am excited to continue reading your work. Welcome to the blogosphere!

Cazzie!!! said...

The sword fallen to love, I like that, this is yet another great piece Eric.

Karmalennon said...

Beautiful, absolutely. Invokes longing in me...

miller580 said...

Eric-

I wish I could say something really thought provoking-but you'll find when it comes to poetry--i don't really know what I'm doing. I simply know when I like something...and I say so. For example the line "it will tell you of life
in the first days,
when lust was new" was my favorite.

Keep writing!

SpongyBones said...

Awesome nice job!

Ali said...

I like your poetry. I appreciate it, but I would need years of education before I would see the true beauty in it.

Do you, perhaps, think that the beauty of poetry is not seen in complexity; rather simplicity? I can, however, understand middle eastern poetry from Rumi - and he always hinted at simplicity.

Heart Of Darkness said...

I see you've found inspiration again!

eric313 said...

Marissa:
Thank you for dropping by. I'm glad to write for people who want to read my work. There's something to this blogging thing--I think I'll stick around. Welcome and say whatever you like, anytime, anything.

Cazzie!!!:
Thank you, and I have not forgotten your idea for a poem.
See you around.

Karmalennon:
Thank you as always for the read.

Miller580:
If you like any line, that's always a good thing, so go ahead and say it. But you do get it. That line has everything to do with the heart of this poem; it's all about love and lust and attraction mixed in a burning, indistinguishable mess--which is like always, for me. Thanks for the shout, and think I will be writing for a while yet.

Ali:
Welcome and Great Question

I think that poetry needs to tell a story, at its heart. Then you worry about working in different but similar themes. I reference a lot of things in this poem, some of it from science, lots from nature, some of it philosophy. The story of the Garden of Eden and how its way was blocked by an angel in the form of a sword that would turn Adam and Eve away from re-entering after being banished from there by God plays a huge role. Paradise is a great way to think of a night of love on a beach.

Thank you for asking. Undue complexity will destroy a poem. It is simplicity that is the greater of the two, I think. But it all depends on how you feel when you write it, and what you have in mind. Your appreciation of it shows that you did understand it. Rumi sounds fascinating. I will check into that; I love the way other cultures look at things like feelings and love and life in general. Different outlooks can only help a writer to acheive their goal of communicating an idea.

Thank you to everybody!

eric313 said...

Hart:
Yes. It was really easy to write; editing took a bit of time, though. Of course, I was writing two poems at once! When I hit a wall working on one, I changed to working with the other poem.
It's been a good day, I'd say.
Thank you for coming by.

Spongybones:
Welcome
And thank you for dropping by, too. Hope to see you around. Say anything you want, anytime

Susan Miller said...

I enjoy the nature aspect of this and was always taught that the greatest lessons in life could be learned from our Earth. If it's not there then the question is unnecessary.

Great job, Eric.

Danny Tagalog said...

Adding my thrupenny bit to the chorus of approval Eric!

captain corky said...

Awesome! Great pic too.

neko said...

so.. Creation is a "she"..

*hmmm*

fascinating

Silence has its own sound.

Bardouble29 said...

I think this is one of the best peoms I have read of yours... And I do agree whole heartedly with my girl Singleton...You ROCK!

Manic Street Preacher said...

You have a song in the words. You know that?
thanks for visitin.
Do come again.

\m/

Blancodeviosa said...

listen-

i have this boil on my butt and it's starting to call phone psychics.






Just kidding!!
No... Really lovely poem.
So talented you are. keep it up!

MyUtopia said...

Reminds me of a Northern Exposure episode I saw this weekend. That and watching the sun set over Lake Michigan. : ) You are really talented!

Ps: GO TIGERS!

the walking man said...

I honestly like the essence of this creation piece. Personally if I had written something with an overture of abstractness to it that piece does have, I may have gone for love instead of lust, because the word has a negative connotation beyond pre recreational sex.

Eden being a perfect spot at the time you are describing there was no negative. But that aside shouldn't the word "it" be in the third from the last line or is it as you wanted.

I'd also like to answer Ali's question, I too like very simple direct poetry but every person who writes does so from the vision of what is called the third eye. It is when that eye is fully open and aware that the imagery comes to the finger tips. All writers write within the framework of their understanding of what they see.

To me Omar Khayyam is not as easy to see the picture of his words as say Stephen Crane, but both voices are more than worthy to be heard.

Peace

TWM

But I really do lie the imagery you present here Eric I hope you don't think I am being to nit picking.

eric313 said...

Susan
Exactly. Thank you for your inspirations, too. Blessings.

Danny and the Captain
Can't say much but thank you both for showing up along with all the people who I hope read me, even if they don't comment. I'll see you all soon.

Neko
! Yes, yes... You Are sharp, indeed. Glad your're on my team.
Its sound is.

Barb
Well it's thank you time again.
like giving out angel wings by ringing a bell;
on a good day, anyway!
thanks for reading my work.

Manic Street Preacher
Thank you. I wrote this to music, to beautiful classical peices and classic rock mixed all up on the local public argument at city hall channel, you know whilst they took a breather. Usually it's just blues and rock.

Blancodeviosa
There's that crazy writer spirit. You've got it. Say anything that rings true, no matter what form it takes.
And thanks for the kind compliment.

Myutopia
You too. Glad you read me. I would love to get a book of this tuff together soon and have you review it. And the pic is so freakin' sweet, it hurts. Seriously.

TWM

But I went for love and lust. They both are so connected, even if they are different textures of feeling. Lusting after someone you love is as freaking good as it will ever get, I think.

And exactly on the simple/complex
It's all complex, even if it's simple, I'd say. So keep it simple and let the words flow.
God will sort it out later. And I did mean it. At least I read it well. Thanks for the comment.

peace love and soul
everybody.

singleton said...

"Lusting after someone you love is as freaking good as it will ever get, I think."

Amen

eric313 said...

Hahaha

Real time
is the theme of the day
yes...

Cheri said...

I agree with Mark about lust- lust usually means its something that you want and cannot have.. and nothing good comes from lusting after what is just out of reach. Otherwise, it's great! Keep up!

eric313 said...

hi Cheri
true that.
One will spin their wheels forever going after what they can't have. It's nice to be able to move on and write, though. Creating this was wonderful.

This poem was about lusting after what you can reach. It was memories wrapped in a new package of wisffull poetry.

You are exactly right. We can only only harm another person with unwanted attention.

Thank you for the comment.

maleah said...

I keep reading this and curling around it different ways each time. Kudos.

eric313 said...

Maleah

Thank you so much. That is why I love writing: what other people make of it. I've been lucky that almost everything I write brings a reaction out of people. And I can't really ask for more than that.
Thanks, and if you're not on my sidebar, you are now. Bless you.

skinnylittleblonde said...

I love when you write about the beach and the shells and the moon and the sky...I love all of them & find myself there, at least for the moment, instead curled up here in front of this computer, when I read your words. TY.

ps-I have been out of the loop & may be again...who knows? but always enjoy the moments.

eric313 said...

Skinny...
take all the time in the world. Your own life's loop with your familly is so important. Take care of that and know that people also look forward to reading your poetry. You could tell! Forty something responses like that. You have fans and familly. Take care and glad to take the tour with you.

skinnylittleblonde said...

TY Eric...
P&L2U

eric313 said...

P&L2U2
of course!
clink