Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Still Dreaming


I'm a butterfly--
still dreaming
I'm the moon.

I'm the moon dreaming
that I am but a man.

I'm a man, still, dreaming...
I am the rising sun.

I am undone.

Soon,
morning should come dancing
into my eyes
like wings that know the ocean's
pulse so well
they dance it's samba, knowing
she's always there
waving to me on the end of the pier
welcoming me
with all of her 'is'
giving me her 'am'
promising me with
all her her "will be"
through a smile sized doorway,
washing away everything
that is not her peace,
her love that lies waiting.

Until then I am still dreaming
of the holy glow I knew by touch,
her halo following me to the horizon
to star's end
and beyond...

But until then,
I remain undone.


~
This is a sequel to a previous poem I wrote way back in the day... you know, June. Feels like forever ago. And that's a damn good thing. Time has hurtled by, until now. Now, I feel like it's my turn to laugh at time for once...

Peace out, everyone.

~

32 comments:

maleah said...

"through a smile sized doorway, washing away everything that is not her peace, her love that lies waiting..."

ahhh... Just ahhh. that's all.

singleton said...

And you know I know you know.....

eric1313 said...

Maleah

That's probably all that needs to be said. You got it so right.

I love the idea of "a smile sized doorway." Just... ahhhhhh!!!...


Singleton

Don't I know it, you know... I know. And knowledge changes everything, makes it shine, lioke a zillion stars and one more shinnig farthest, dimmest, yet as important and regal and stellar as all the rest.

You know it!

Maithri said...

Words seem inadequate to describe how beautiful this is. Wonderful, Just wonderful,

With love, Maithri

eric1313 said...

Maithri

Your words are never inadequate.

Never.

Glad to see you, I'll be by soon.

karma lennon said...

So so peaceful, love it. And now I want to sleep and dream again of what was and will be.

benjibopper said...

you ever listen to sinead lohan? i'd like to hear her sing this one. there is great peace in her voice, so i think she'd enjoy this poem.

Pythia3 said...

I love this one - I feel its pulse. (It kind of reminds me of something I wrote - a poem about dreaming for children but yours is much more sophisticated and romantic and sad.)

Erik, thanks for checking in with me - I think/hope my computer problems are over, but I have a feeling I will have one more bout due to some suspected problems I think the adware caused.
Anyway, yesterday I spent the day with my son walking along the River Walk and some torn up city streets - and I thought about you . . . I bet you miss the city???
Hope you are well and all settled in.
Peace, Lindy

eric1313 said...

Karma Lennon

Like Kurt Vonnegut said, a dream at naptime the best saturday matinee possible. Dream on, Karma, Dream on.


Benji

I haven't heard her, but I'll see what I can find on youtube. I get a lot of people saying I'd write good songs.

Thanks!

eric1313 said...

Pythia

I'm sure that your poem is good one. Make sure and post it. I'll read it--promise.

No problem checking in with you. You really love the city od Detroit and it shows in your writing.

I can't help but feel I abandoned it, even though it wasn't my first choice. I love the bustle, the rust, the stories and all the emotions the place evokes. I'm settled in, but not too settled. I'll be back!

Enemy of the Republic said...

I especially like your use of metaphor--this I am....

Metaphor is precious to me, and I think we learn to equate images with ideas when our thinking enters a whole new realm of sublimity. It's hard to explain, but when it works, it is fantastic. And it works here.

Lovely.

eric1313 said...

Enemy of the Republic

I keep trying to get better in my use of it. The best metaphors come naturally, you ever notice that? They are subliminal and flow as easily as anything.

So much better to get rid of words such as "like" or "as", the tiring similes and analogies that could be so much more alive if brought into a stronger verb tense. That's an easy way to take something mediocre and step it up to the "pretty good" level, or better.

captain corky said...

Great poem Eric. Makes me want to drink a beer and look at the moon. That's pretty much my idea of a good time.

eric1313 said...

Captian Corky

That sounds like a great night to me, too.

That's what I liked about the halo line; sometimes it's a haze around the moon, sometimes it's that muse that sits with you listening about all the the constellations, or listening to your collective breath. And a good drink.

Gillian @ Indigo Blue said...

Wonderful words. What else you got up there in that brain of yours? An endless supply of prose, poetry and dreams?
Yes!
xo
Blue

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Yes, yes. Compatible women have always had halos....But it seems that it was I who was followng them around.
Ah, the copula verb "to be".
Seems to me your are one of the few bloggers around who know the difference between the subjunctive and the indicative.

A gay Broadway playwright once told me I hadn't read enough Kierkegaard...I still don't know what he meant, and I have read Kierkegaard. One fascinating line:
"You complain that love makes mountains out of molehills?
"When in love, lyou're supposed to make mountains out of molehills.
Well then. A right pretty mountain.

Ivan

Ultra Toast Mosha God said...

I liked the smile sized doorway line too.

Crashdummie said...

"But until then,
I remain undone."


You always have such powerful endings eric... but the thing is, its more like the beginning of something new, hopefull...

Have a wicked weekend my friend.
cheers! :)

Blancodeviosa said...

seems very romantical. well done

eric1313 said...

Gillian

I hope it's endless! I, like everyone else get my ideas from reading lots of great things and having inspirational frineds.


Ivan

That's a great quote--as well as the heart of the matter, I should say without a smirk...

My writing prof. did her best to rid her students of passive language(except where active ideas will be highlighted dramatically by a subtle passive statement), as well as taught us to use strong verb forms instead of adjectives. If everyone in the world could take one class with her, I'd say go for it!

eric1313 said...

Ultra Toast

It's quite a good thing represented there, I'd say...

Thanks for the visit.



Crashy

Thanks! As I remember, you liked the first one, too.

The circular ending is one of my favorite concepts; that there is no end, only new beginnings.

Hope your weekend is a good one, too. See you soon, Crash. Be cool, girl!

eric1313 said...

Blancodeviosa

Filled with romanticalities, to be sure.

I'll have a new post up in a few. Hope to see you soon.


Peace out, everyone. It's friday, do your business and get the heck out of work. They don't own you!

Princess Pointful said...

Love this first few verses... always dreaming you are something else, then realizing you just feel undone.
Lovely.

eric1313 said...

Princess Pointful

Those lines are very inspired. I wish I could write like that every day. Thanks for your compliment.

Undone is a metaphor of it's own. We'd all rather be done than undone, I think. :)

realbigwings said...

O so very pretty, Eric!
I like this very much.

~Dawn

eric1313 said...

Dawn

I always look back down the list for your comments. You aren't the only one who would rather not fool with the rush.

Thanks for the comment, your poems and prose are this pretty, too.

Imagism is your domain! I just borrow it from time to time.

Eric

ann said...

mmmm... a very dreamy number
I think I could win prizes in
daydreaming... your poem has
lovely dreamy flow to it...

eric1313 said...

Ann

Glad it has that effect. I tried to think "dreaming" as I wrote this one--obviously, I guess.

Thanks for the comment, and don't worry about it; daydreaming is it's own prize and reward.

karoline said...

oh eric...how lovely...you indeed have a treasure trove here...i thank maithri for divulging your wonderful secrets...

k:))

Cheri said...

That's my favorite painting of all time. I have a paper copy on my bookshelf and it splashes across my computer screen when I am sitting at it doing nothing at all.

eric1313 said...

Karoline

Thank you for the visit, your photo blog has some wonderful ideas captured in your shots.

I hope you like poems--every now and then, a story will happen, too. Peace out!

eric1313 said...

Cheri

When I was selling art (for a week), and two differnt scenes of his Starry Night were out of the three I did sell.

And my mom was the one who bought the Starry Night over the bay! The only other thing I sold was an Ansel Adams to a gas station attendant in St. Clair Shores. My car blew up at the same time I did with the job! I'm just not a salesman.