Friday, April 25, 2008

You


Kissed me and said
you loved the way I taste

Fucked me and ran away
saying it wasn't what
you thought,
I thought,
or anyone 

thought.

It was

The white nights,
the black magicks

In my eyes as dark as
the heart of the woods

On the pink tip
of my silver tongue

(it's not forked as you say it is)

Do you still hold my candle?

Remembering your nails
rending my back
diamonds etching
the man of glass...
your fire still lights
my ever-night,
if you could see it--
with eyes sewn shut
by your own
practiced hand

The fire--
or the last sunset

Faces in a green
emerald lake fade
and are ghosts
dancing under glass

You kissed me and
told me you loved
the way I made it real
without pain
without hesitation
without fear for the
inevitable
loss

I'm waiting...
watching your light
dance away like
fireflies in October

I loved your every way.

...

Did I ever know you?


I am the worst blogger ever for not letting you guys know that I'm OK. Things are hectic and worse, but I'm alive. That counts for something.

I hope to see you all soon, but I'm not sure when. I still have much to do this weekend so I won't be around. Believe me, I miss the days when I could blog away the hours and write. And just as much as writing, I miss hearing all the familiar voices I've come to know. I'll reacquaint myself with you all soon enough.

Peace out.

65 comments:

Maithri said...

Eric this is amazing,

Hope you're well brother,

Peace and love, M

eric1313 said...

Thank you, Maithri! Glad to see you. I've been all right, some problems as of late, but at least I found my voice where I left it last.

Take care.

i beati said...

we miss you lots - you have me so excited with this poem and so early in the morning too !!! peace out sandy

Justgivemepeace said...

"Faces in a green
emerald lake fade
and are ghosts
dancing under glass"

Wherever you've been,
living life, hell, everyday
mundane upside down,
you
still
have it, Eric....

Passion is a color...

Peace~love friend
Wishing you oh so well....

Crashdummie said...

dude, you have been missed. You cannot just vanish like that, depriving the blogging world of your talent and the depth & beauty of your poems. :)

take care mate. Cheers

Cléa said...

Wow... I'll have to come back to read this again. But for now, good to see you back, and what a comeback!

Lana Gramlich said...

That poem makes me want to cry. That & maybe give that b!tch a slap. Sorry you're swamped--I can sympathize, entirely. We'll miss you, I'm sure, but everyone's got a life to live, too. See you on the ret'n! :)

she said...

1313/mr poetry: -great read-

delighted when your words appear -miss them when they don't

but i know the poetry in you has a life all its own and will always wait patiently (like me -ha,ha) -and circle 'round, til there's a place for a clear landing

love, ~s.

Donnetta Lee said...

Hi, Eric: Beautiful words as always. Sorry to hear you're going through a tough time. Most of us have been there in some fashion. You are so talented. You can't help but pull through any crises. Good to see you.
Donnetta

Crushed said...

From the heart.

It sounds like she didn't appreciate what she ran away from. Her loss.

Good to see you're still around!

Charles Gramlich said...

glad to hear you are surviving. This is a lovely poem here. The work doesn't seem to have hurt your creativity.

Luck with everything.

Josie said...

We all miss you, Eric, and we're glad to hear you're okay. Please keep us posted.

Enemy of the Republic said...

Eric,


Life has been hectic for me as well. Take your time, my dear friend.


God, I understand this poem. All too well. You scare me sometimes.

Gillian said...

He lives!!!

LOL
Great poetry. Even with the "f" word. (kidding)
You are a great writer. I just wonder who was so narsty to you to make you write that!

I'm hoping it's purely fiction.
Keep well, and don't worry about blogging, it's always here.
xo

skinnylittleblonde said...

...'it wasn't what you thought, i thought, anyone thought'... beautiful, so beautiful it made me lose my thought...

benjibopper said...

hey eric. this one was hard...ghosts under the glass, can we see them there? maybe not but their presence is felt. did i ever know you? who knows? lost love, what a pain.

good luck with problem-solving. take it easy. (but, of course, take it.)

Ant said...

Nasty lady - bet you still have a soft spot for her though...

Glad to hear you're alive!

Marissa said...

i've REALLY missed you! but it's ok because it keeps me looking forward to your inspiring poetry. this part haunts me...i love it and can really relate. always the inevitable loss...:

You kissed me and
told me you loved
the way I made it real
without pain
without hesitation
without fear for the
inevitable
loss

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

On eight beers:

Funny, but I neither got published large nor laid until I lived in a car for a year.
Is there a tao here?

Incomparable poetry!

lance said...

How are you doing? I haven't heard from you in awhile,my friend.
Blessings,
Lance
www.lancessoulsearching.com

karma lennon said...

Your poem pierces me to the heart.

Princess Pointful said...

You are never going to be the worst blogger in the world, simply because your brilliant writing is enough to bump you up the list. This one is just as amazing as always.

Behind Blue Eyes said...

I totally understand, I have been doing the same thing and not even popping in to tell people I'm okay too. I think part of the reason is tht I have no self-control...if I go on my blog, I won't be off for an hour or so. Anyway, we'll be here when you get back.

Blancodeviosa said...

life gets in the way of poetry

Princess Pointful said...

Hello dearest Eric. Glad to receive notification that you are still alive. I feel like you are obligated to have some sort of super wireless device with you at all times to ensure your continued internet access.

It was a bad year for Canadian hockey, I'm afraid. I'm not gonna lie, after disappointment (Canucks) after disappointment (Flames) after disappointment (Canadians), my enthusiasm is a little diminished.

benjibopper said...

PP: you forgot about the Senators. that one hurt. i was happy though that at least the canadiens over-achieved from expectations.

Eric: missing you.

Brian said...

The journey takes time even though the endless thoughts repeat themselves in the darkest night and will still be waiting there at the end of the journey to self.

Cazzie!!! said...

Just take care of yourSELF, and I am glad you are okay :)

kj said...

ditto everything from me.

great sad deep poem you've written. damn when love doesn't work!

ann said...

your poem pushed buttons sweetheart... amazing and a place we all know far too well

... as for the blogging; you and me both and with so much going on I not only have no time or inclination to write, I don't even have it to read... c'est la vie

good luck with all you're up to

singleton said...

JSYK...
its universal...
this crazy thing called life...
Wishing you peace, friend...
hit the tincan line when you can...

Lynn said...

Eric! How are you these days?

Glad to see that you are still writing, sorry things are crazy for you.

Helene (aka Kate) said...

Hello! I came by way of Xdells as you are linked there, but then you already know that bit...

Anyway, I liked your poem but loved the passion behind it. Your writing evokes passion.

I have to admit that the piece I like the most was this:

There's a time and place for everything. Neither one of them is now, so go for it and let god sort it out after the smoke clears.

Not from the poem but still profound... and something I will take away from having visited ur blog for the first time! =]

Wishing you clarity and strength as you endeavor through this tough patch on your life!

Cheers! k8

mystic rose said...

passion! tho im not sure i like the way it ends. :)

me just checking in on my friends.
take care.

Ultra Toast Mosha God said...

There he is!

Nice to hear your soul is still flowing through the keyboard, language boy!

X. Dell said...

It's interesting. You actually have a flesh-and-bone life to lead, but people really note your absence in this forum. I'm just hoping the problems aren't bigger than you and your support group, and that you'll come out the victor in the end.

Keep the faith.

Ultra Toast Mosha God said...

Aha! More excellence. Being in love is like being in a bubble and when it bursts, one has nothing left to do but try and blow another and get lost inside it again, hoping it doesn't blow onto another one of those coincidental thorns that flutter in natures fickle wind.

she said...

-making rounds this morning.. just wanted you to know i'm thinkin' 'bout you..

prayers ~ good thoughts
and looking foward to your return like so many others..

iamnasra said...

take all ur time as all those who blog will be here for you...I know when I had so much on..still my blog got visited

Write as much you want ..and be the writing that you want to be ..for nothing and no one but for who you are

Sandy Kessler said...

missing you man - hope wherever you are you are making it happen big time !! sandy

Danny Tagalog said...

Eric,

Hope these problems I see referred to are clearing up. I've been busy outside blogland and I know where you're coming from re:time.

Hope all is fine:)

Danny Tagalog said...

Yes, you have 'it' and I hope you are using it well. Or will do soon:)

Josie said...

Come back soon, my friend. We all miss you!!!

Princess Pointful said...

Just figured I would drop by for a little bittersweet congratulation on the Stanley Cup.
We miss you!

karma lennon said...

Eric, I've been gone far too long. Don't know what all's happening in your world but hope hope hope you are well. The poem-so true, so what happens-love it. You're amazing. :)

Crashdummie said...

just wanted to drop by and see how u were doing. cheers mate

Behind Blue Eyes said...

I miss you Eric

MyUtopia said...

Looks like you have been busy too! Hope all is well.

lance said...

Keep writing!
Your poems are from the soul.
Blessings,
Lance
www.lancessoulsearching.com

Cazzie!!! said...

Missing you my friend :)

sandy said...

left you a small honorarium when you return - miss your passion man

Beth said...

I was just checking up on you. Glad all is well.

Ant said...

Dude, where the hell are ya?

I was nostalgically going through my bloggy archives yesterday and suddenly realised it's been a very long time since we heard...

You fallen down a mine?

I've had my hip replaced in the meantime - seriously, it's been that long!

eric1313 said...

alive?

alive?

ALIVE?

Yes, I'm here.



The Willow and the Wind
E1313

My passion died
on a cross of yew branches
hung up in the willow and the wind
dried up,
blown away

broken battered and bleeding

the sky sings a song of no words

this hymn

like rest of god's creations

shakes like leaves on an October tree before the fall

My heart quit
but my soul stayed on on for one more season

waiting out the frost
past the ice
and into the desert
again

there my heart goes again...

tapping

knocking

pounding

every face is a jewel
every voice I can hear

Sing to me now of your fallen
and I'll pick them all up
on my way back from perdition
from Saturn V
from the ice
the desert

Every blue note rings true
every face I see is a flower

Every heart weighs heavy
but carries on

and my own will again
find the footsteps in the sands
before the wind covers them completely

before the last leaf drops
life will promise me
one more illusion

and I

will run with it

if you

will run with me again

in this summer that the gods died
and were reborn

on a cross

in your willowy arms

my passion will never forget you

my love

eric1313 said...

rusty, but it will do for now (too many repetitive lines... I might have it, but it's a little weak right now.)

Had no internet again, had to move--again!

But I miss you all and I hope you know I remember all of you very fondly and look forward to reconnecting.

It's late--not that that has every stopped me--and I'm exhausted, so It's bed time for bonzo. But I will be around soon.

Thanks for the love, the wishes, the respect.

eric1313 said...

tonight

is the only one we have we have

Until tomorrow gives us one more.



Had to add one more line--can't have another poem end with my love!

Ahhh....

The heart-wrenching fun of haggling with the god of creativity.

Tomorrow night, I'll have a better deal, I should think.

eric1313 said...

btw--I had about a million pictures to show you all of my net-less exploits, but I let my youngest sister borrow my camera for her graduation and it got stolen.

I even have one heck of a wild rangy mullet now!

Next summer I should be a full blown hippie.

Had to do it, since it I'm getting old and it might be the the last hoorah for my hair.

And maybe I'll have a pic to prove it with, too.

skinnylittleblonde said...

Eric! Welcome back!
Let your hair grow wild and spirit grow deep...locks of love & lots of love!

iamnasra said...

I'm touched by all you write...breathless I was when I sinked deeply into your words ...journey of your became alive ..Hope all is well with you ...sorry not being regular in here but its good to be here

Crashdummie said...

dude!

Princess Pointful said...

Eric!! It is so good to see you floating about my comment section again! I love how cryptically you manage to disappear and reappear again.

And, oh dear, I'm a little petrified of your Wings now that you have Hossa, too. Whatever happened to the salary cap, huh? (I'm a little jealous, especially considering that we can't even convince Sundin to head our way)

Things have been slower on the comment front. I still spend more time hopping about blogs than I should, honestly, but it seems like things are just slower in general. It is odd-- I have more readers than before, apparently, but way fewer saying anything. I find this a little disconcerting, somehow, to not know who is reading....

Anyways, I hope all is well at your end, and that I will see your blog highlighted in my reader again soon.

eric1313 said...

test

Princess Pointful said...

Aw, look at you, all worried and bashful!

These are complex questions you ask, ones that I don't think there can be one definitive answer to, let alone one we could ever prove.

With regards to paranoia, I would assume that, yes, it does come from those vicious days of yore in part, in which there were few we could trust, and our instincts had to be that much more honed. It seems to be one of those things that is slower to adapt in others, the notion of trust... after all, it is not always the case that life is such a zero sum game anymore, in which in order to benefit, someone needs to suffer... yet, some seem to operate under that presumption still.

However, I do think there are limits to evolutionary psychology. I don't want to take over your comments with a rant, but it is really too oversimplistic at times, and operates via post-hoc logic. It is easy to explain things away as being due to the demands of eras past-- you can really find a reason for any behaviour that seems maladaptive in the present day. I would argue that paranoia also often emerges from very early life. When a child, who is supposed to have their basic needs met without even having to worry about it does not get these needs met, it alters things at a pretty fundamental level.

As for insanity being part of our overdeveloped brains, it could be that our more basic instincts are slower to adapt to the present day. However, I generally take more of a cultural approach to mental illness... I find that people's delusions, no matter how objectively odd they may seem, make sense within a certain cultural narrative-- e.g., why so many schizophrenics in a Western culture have delusions of being Jesus, not Allah.

Blah blah blah... I've had a few drinks tonight, so I'm not sure if this is entirely nonsensical or not. Just letting the fingers and thoughts run....

Princess Pointful said...

And your comments get delivered directly to my inbox, anyhow, so you don't need to worry about making more direct contact :).

Princess Pointful said...

(and I read your most recent comment after I typed the longest comment ever... whoops. I should really stop this now.)