Saturday, April 3, 2010

Babble

Remember when we built the tower?
It stretched to heaven, so we might
look Him in the eye

We worked so well together,
you and I, with only our hands
and tongues. We were slaves
to desire,
building higher and higher
until it seemed nothing would be
beyond our reach, and anything
we conspired to do would be

We would see Him as an equal,
atop the shrine built to our past
and our future

We remembered the Apple,
the one that brought with
it so much sorrow

We devoured it, feasting until
we became strangers and our
tongues no longer knew
the feel of the other

We mimed words like devotion
and forever
but they were merely sounds

We looked around, you and I,
at the temple we had raised,
so strange and so high,
built in the cloying hubris
of our broken love...
one more crumbling monument
to this confounded language
that now graces our tongues.



~

16 comments:

eric1313 said...

If this one seems a bit wonky, it is probably because it's old...
(written in 2004)

Charles Gramlich said...

I thought it was really good. Definitely not wonky. This story has been the inspiration for quite a few modern tales and poems.

eric1313 said...

Thank you Charles!

Yes, this one is an old structure, and I felt at the time it was my turn to put a spin on the story.

Plenty of new edits in ti, however.

Glad to see you!

eric1313 said...

To put this in context and provide proper background, I'll quote this:

'And the lord god said "Behold! the people is one, and they have all one language; and this they begun to do: now nothing will be restrained them, which they have imagined to do. Go to, let us go down and confound their language, that they may not understand one another's speech."'

Somewhere in Genesis

Lana Gramlich said...

Wonky, schmonky. It's wonderful!

eric1313 said...

Thank you Lana!

You know? I almost should call the poem We, since that's the operative word in this mess.

Kate S said...

Very nice.

I caught the context of that one right away, having once been a JW for far too many years.
I saw on your comment on Charles's blog that you've had to deal with J'dub stuff in the past. Congrats on breaking free. :)

Beautiful poems here. I've just started looking around.

eric1313 said...

Well I have to thank you, Kate! Yeah, the J'Dubs are one of a kind, aren't they? Just not for me, I can't deal with invading people's front porches on Saturday mornings telling them this is the only way to save themselves...

So glad you dropped by! Take care and see you around, I hope!

etain_lavena said...

Really nice, wonky or not:)

Ultra Toast Mosha God said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ultra Toast Mosha God said...

Its a love triangle between Romeo, Juliet and Babel.

Everyone comes out unfinished.

eric1313 said...

Etain

So glad to see you here!

Thank you, I edited it and now it's honed to a nice non-wonky point.


Ultra Toast

What a great way of putting it. Between the love shared by two individuals, and the works of man/woman, love, pride, and it's downfall.

hmm..... good stuff.

Glad to be back, let me post one more before I go and visit my sister and my niece.

Princess Pointful said...

Well well well... look who's back from the South.
I like the idea of this passionate drive to create flowing through this one. It makes me wish I was more of an artist. Or maybe just that my drive would come back...

eric1313 said...

That's something that I liked too. I liked that maybe the tower was built simply because it could be done and nothing more. Something beautiful and forbidden.

Glad to see you here, stranger!

X. Dell said...

Ah, that moment when cloud-nine romance meets the tree of knowledge, the forbidden fruit that changes everything. I think anyone who's been in a relationship will dig this.

i beati said...

give me some Spring passion haha