Friday, September 24, 2010

And [Love]

She was only a child
but so was I...

Back then we thought
love was something
from the candy store;
grab bags of laughter
shy hugs, secret notes 
between classes and
prime time television.

One day on the way
to school
knocking a staccato
metallic rhythm on her
front porch storm door
her mother answered
and said she would not
be walking today

and I would not see her

until the funeral
3 months later
where her mother
would not even look
at me, could not look
and could not see;
her father telling me
it's OK to stop by


And I would not walk
past her door
for many years,
the long way
was good enough to take
from then on.

And I would deny
any idea
of a creator with mercy
for the eternity called adolescence

And I would not think
of her face or her green eyes
or her laugh (even a laugh at me)
(especially that laugh)


And I would not speak
of it again
no words can tell you
or tell me
that it's OK
to grieve
or live
deserve another
sweet bite of candy
or a kiss
or a goodbye to a friend
on a fogged over
front porch window
where the sun eventually makes
the words disappear from sight
leaving behind a dirty smear
that vaguely resembles

Written by the finger
of someone who
might only have been
a child looking through
a storm door's glass.


Thanks for reading this blog...   everyone.   You make my life, though I have not been here as much as I should.   This one is for the past.   Lets keep going, keep writing and keep learning from each other, as much as we can. Love the one you've got, or just love yourself, and stay fresh for the love yet to be in your life.   It is coming one day.   That was something I did not remember for a long time, too wrapped up in the mystery to watch for the clues that will lead us to the answers.

This took a long time to say.   And I doubt it's right.   But here it is.

Again, thank you all for reading.