How long is the night?
Will it ever surrender?
How long will it fight?
A candle burning slow
and the fires ignite
Battle cries or moans
twisting until light
Falling free into
the maw of lust
Her lips, and her bite
in pain do we trust
Tonight will never die
but tomorrow just might
Just stay with me and see
how long is the night...
8 charges of vandalism dropped:
I'm sure all of you know how much I dislike like most rhyming schemes, and not sure how this would work to music (would need a lot more work...), but hey, this one did make me laugh a bit, so if you felt the same impulse, it's all good.
It sounds much like a song, although you'd probably need some kind of chorus. I like the rhythm, although I'm with you that a little clear rhyme goes a long way.
I think it works here--sounds like a song, as Charles said. I'm with you on not typically writing in rhyme (poetry or not,) but there's something to be said for the creativity challenge of writing that way.
coolness
you rhymed
and it had a good feel to it.
good job and such.
I like it. I like it!
--Ivan
...yea...and maybe together you can save the night...
Lust is a beautiful beast indeed.
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